Hvis du har prøvet at arrangere en begravelse, ved du, at det er alt andet end sjovt. Det er tværtimod en rigtig sur periode, hvor du kommer helt ud til yderpunkterne på det store følelsesbarometer. For når nogen går bort, er det en svær tid, hvor sorgen rammer.
Rent psykologisk set kan der være enorm stor forskel på, hvordan sorgen sætter ind. Nogle vil være meget rationelt orienteret omkring at have mistet en kær, mens andre måske får brug for professionel hjælp, fordi de nu pludseligt befinder sig i en livskrise. Alt dette skyldes, at man skal igennem flere faser med sorg. Og de er ikke altid lige sjove. Faktisk tærer de enormt meget på det overskud, vi plejer at have som mennesker. Og var der i forvejen meget lidt at komme efter der, vil det med stor sandsynlighed komme i underskud.
Det er netop her, at bedemanden skal gå ind og gøre en forskel. For bedemanden kan gå ind og aflaste i de mange opgaver, som ellers skal varetages af familien. Det er alt fra at klare det at indsende dokumenter til det offentlige, gå til skifteretten, ansøge om begravelseshjælp etc., men også praktiske forhold som at bestille blomster og kranse, få fat i en gravsten, udforme en dødsannonce og måske en taksigelse oven på ceremonien og meget mere. Dertil er der også samtaler med selve kirken i forhold til at arrangere højtiden.
Vi har talt med vores egen bedemand i Haderslev, som oplyser, at det er en meget stor byrde at stå med for familierne. Det skyldes naturligvis, at de er i sorg og derfor har mindre overskud, men det skyldes også, at der er mange nye ting, som man kan være nødt til at sætte sig ind i.
Bedemanden gør det derfor muligt at fokusere sin energi på at skabe en flot afsked, som man husker. Dette er naturligvis primært ceremonien, som man som efterladt kan koordinere med kirken og præsten, så der bliver fundet de rette vers og salmer, ligesom præsten bliver udstyret med viden til at holde en flot afskedstale. Med en smuk ceremoni bliver det nemmere at få sagt ordentligt farvel – hvilket er vigtigt, når sorgen skal behandles.
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